Years ago, I used to visit a local high school to speak with soon-to-be graduates about their future opportunities. I mentioned to them that they will face success and failures along their lives, but not to fear because they were in good company.
I came up with the term when I read about what many would probably agree were successful individuals. Yet many do not realize their failures. Hollywood and the music industry are full of people who were rejected along the way or who others thought were not good enough. But today all you see is their stardom and success. Take, for example, the following:
- Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Yet went on to become what some would consider The GOAT (Greatest of all time).
- Oprah Winfrey was told she would never make it on TV. Today, not only has she been a successful show host and actress, but she now owns her own TV channel.
- Walt Disney was told he did not have a creative bone in his body. Yet we know where that took him.
- Abraham Lincoln had a nervous breakdown, lost his wife to an illness, and lost several elections before becoming president of the United States to lead the country through some very perilous times.
- Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Kitchen was denied many times over to start a franchise. Until he finally got his break in his 60s, and the rest is history.
The above is just a sample of many I like to refer to as successful failures. Everyone today sees their successes and extravagant lifestyles and does not realize the challenges they had to face to get there, both personally and professionally.
As you read this, you might reflect on your own journey. All of you reading this have probably had your ups and downs that include failures and successes. Whether this be a failed relationship or marriage, having been laid off or fired, failed in a startup, failed a class or exam, failed to achieve a milestone or objective, or anything else that you can think off.
There are a variety of issues that impact whatever failure we may face. Our brain is wired to survive, so when we fail or perceive we have failed, it puts us in a not very good state of mind. We are usually our very own worst critic. As I mention to anyone who will listen, we spend a lot of time in our minds, make it a safe place. Once we fail and we will at something or several things along our lives- we either end up speaking negatively to ourselves or picking ourselves back up.
Along the way in my life, I have found that what usually gets in our way is not others, but ourselves and our mindset. Do we take failure or someone else’s negative opinion about us as permanent, or do we continue to improve? We continue to believe in ourselves and pursue our dreams. Life is like a roller coaster with its ups and downs. And they are both temporary.
I began this article with kids I used to speak with in high school. So much of what we carry with ourselves today has roots in what happened to us earlier in our lives. Whether this be when we were kids, or just earlier in our lives or professional careers.
So what should you do?
- For starters, as they tell you on the plane, “put your mask on first”. Take care of yourself and work to minimize whatever negative thoughts you may have of yourself. We will all make mistakes and have failures along our life journey. Work to learn from them and not have them stop you in your tracks. Because life is full of successes and failures, and they are both temporary.
- Be consciously aware of what someone else has to say to or about you. This does not mean not being open to constructive feedback, but the key word is “constructive”. If it seems overwhelming and not conducive to helping you, help yourself; then consider the source and if just maybe they may be projecting. Sometimes people point the finger at others for their flaws without looking in the mirror.
Next time you make a mistake or fail at something, remember you’re in good company. Learn from it and move on. Don’t let the mistake or failure define you. Remember, our life is a journey with its ups and downs and not a destination. As Mr. Spock would say, “live long and prosper”.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Edwin Mourin᷁o – Ruiz, Ph.D.
Dr. Edwin Mouriño is an Air Force veteran, author, Human Capital, and DEI practitioner and speaker. As a human capital practitioner, Dr. Mouriño’s focus has been on helping leaders and organizations help themselves. He is an experienced professional with many years of leading and/or supporting key elements of organizational change projects. Dr. Mouriño is an Air Force veteran who began his career in Diversity Equity and Inclusion (DEI) as a graduate of the DOD-Defense Equal Opportunity & Management Institute (DEOMI) and has also been a speaker.
He brings broad industry experience that includes Fortune 100 companies. He is the founder and president of Human Intelligent (HI) Workplace, an organization focused on helping leaders help themselves through leadership, team development, and executive coaching. He has been and continues to serve as a college professor. He is also a Senior Fellow with the Conference Board on the DEI and Leadership Steering Committees.
He has extensive experience and thought leadership on Human Capital issues and supported organizational change efforts through Leadership Development, DEI, Executive Coaching, Team Development, Executive Retreats, Personality Assessments, and Organizational Change. He has spoken at numerous professional venues and written numerous articles on human capital trends impacting organizations, specifically addressing DE, and is the author and co-editor of several books.
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